I judge myself so much on not being Happy all the time because I thought There was something wrong with the fact That I wasn't happy that I drove myself Insane not being happy rather than just Being like you know what maybe I'm just Going to do the stuff and just Happiness for a minute it's like an Appreciation of The Human Experience Even in the suffering there's Beauty in That because it's purely human I think It's just understanding both sides of The coin like if there's few things that I believe it is that right now there are Things in my life that I don't like that I wish for better and there are things In my life that I really liked 10 years Ago it was the same way and 10 years From now it'll be the same way and when I die there will be stuff that I will Not have accomplished that I will wish I Had there will be things that I wish I Had done better that I will not have Done and there will be things that I Have done that I am proud of those Things are not going to change and so All I can do is just enjoy the game and It took me a really long time to get There or at least it felt like I Suffered a lot on that process and so I Think it's like when we have these am I Happy am I not happy you have to rise Above it so that you can just feel the Spectrum which is just being present if

I can just be present even in my Suffering then I can experience joy for Being human and having this experience That I only get once